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HOW DO I HEAL FROM WHAT I’VE EXPERIENCED?

After escaping abuse, it is normal to feel a variety of symptoms…

You may be experiencing exhaustion, guilt, shame, headaches, difficulty breathing, hyper-alertness, impulsiveness, depression, anxiety, mental fatigue, low self-esteem, memory problems or loss, numbness, PTSD, dissociation (a mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity), nightmares, irritability, substance abuse, or suicidal thoughts.

All of these symptoms and more are normal to feel after experiencing trauma and leaving an abusive relationship.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a good starting place to learn how to heal and overcome the trauma you experienced. You start at the base of the triangle by improving your physiological needs (like food and water).

Then, once these needs are met, you can continue on to focus on safety and security needs, then to love and belonging needs (being cared for by a community). Finally, after these needs are fulfilled, you will be able to improve your self-esteem and self-actualization.

Take it one step at a time, and always be kind to yourself.

HEALING RESOURCES

  • Once free from the abuse, safety planning for yourself (and your children) can help give you a sense of calm and control, knowing you have a plan in place during any emergency situation. This can include knowing where your local police stations are, identifying a point of contact (friend or family member), creating safe-words, teaching children how to call 9-1-1, etc.

  • There are a variety of therapies that can be helpful with healing after trauma. Asking for help is brave, and while the abuse we experienced is not our fault, it is our responsibility to heal.

    Healing takes time, and everyone heals differently. You may need a combination of different therapies and medications to help you recover. Review our recommended resources below to find the right fit for you and speak with your doctor about your symptoms.

    • PsychologyToday - offers a database to help you find a therapist (enter your location, and then toggle the drop down options to specify your insurance and type of therapy you are seeking)

    • Open Path Collective - offers affordable online and in-office psychotherapy sessions

    • BetterHelp - offers convenient and affordable therapy 

    • Grouport - offers expert-led online group therapy

    • EMDRIA - the EMDR International Association offers a database to locate EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, an effective psychotherapy method proven to help people recover from trauma and PTSD symptoms)

    • Mindful - offers practical steps on how to start practicing mindfulness and meditation

    • Love Your Brain - offers online and in-person yoga courses, trainings, and retreats

    • IARP - the International Association of Reiki Professionals offers a database to locate Reiki (a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that promotes healing)

  • Finding a sense of community can be an extremely impactful part of a survivor’s journey towards healing. Community can mean different things for everyone, so lean into what feels best for you.

    Most counties and cities offer free resources for survivors and general community members whether it be through the local rape crisis centers, local domestic violence shelters, libraries, gyms, community centers, cultural centers, parks, art organizations, mental health services, schools, and more.

    Places like these can offer therapy services, mindfulness activities, ways to embrace nature, activities to creatively express yourself, workout classes, self-defense courses, etc. Not only do these places offer tools or resources towards healing and discovering yourself, they also allow you to meet folks and build relationships of support.

    Visit domesticshelters.org to find local domestic violence nonprofits near you, or call 2-1-1 to learn of community resources near you. Additionally, you are always welcome to join our virtual, Facebook support group.

  • Sharing your story - whether publicly or personally with a loved one, professional, or community member - can be a powerful moment in your healing journey. Telling your story can help you identify exactly what you’ve gone through, empower you, and help educate others about abuse.

    Our private Facebook support group is a safe space where you can share your story with over 18,000 survivors who understand. Join us and get support today!

  • We maintain a library of helpful apps, blogs, books and podcasts that can aid you in your escape and recovery from abuse. Click here to learn more.

If you are in need of additional resources, check out our SYTT Resource Database.

  • “Knowing there are other individuals who have been through almost the exact same situations as me… reading testimonies of others & having people to lean on who actually understand has helped me tremendously.”

    Erica, SYTT Member

  • “Thank you for giving a voice to those who may feel peace, are free, but aren’t comfortable being public just yet. The option to be anonymous is a blessing.”

    Alberto, SYTT Member

  • "I give credit to Speak Your Truth for a huge part of my healing. I didn’t have the words for so long after I left… Suddenly, I had the words… I finally felt truly seen."

    Teagan, SYTT Member

  • “My healing journey started years before, but after joining SYTT a month ago, I realized I have more room to heal and grow. I have not had the courage to post or even offer my real name in the group. But, I am there, watching and being inspired daily.”

    Michel, SYTT Member

  • “Finding SYTT literally saved me… Finding validation, being believed, gaining clarity and education on abuse has been healing in a way I never thought possible.”

    Nikki, SYTT Member

  • "Knowing I am not alone helps. Having others that listen and care warms my heart. Speak Your Truth is like a force that helps us share our pain. Just to be able to hand your heart ache off to others, even for a moment, is incredible… "

    Tom, SYTT Member

  • “Being able to hear other stories has been incredibly helpful…It gives hope. Hope that there is a way out of abuse and healthy and happy relationships are possible…”

    Lynne, SYTT Member